The Art of Living: Goodness
By Reid Bissen, Obl.S.B.
Part V of IX in a series about Dietrich von Hildebrand’s work on moral virtue, The Art of Living.
This article was originally published in our January 2025 Kansas Monks newsletter. Read the whole newsletter at www.kansasmonks.org/newsletter/january2025
Thus far Dietrich von Hildebrand has examined the moral life for us in different facets. Now he takes a step further and tries to articulate what it is more comprehensively to live uprightly and the effects of the good life that resound in a person’s attitudes and behaviors.
“Good” can sometimes be seen as a filler word because it is so generic, but it is certainly not devoid of meaning because of this. A good person is someone who gives others their due, who is forgiving, who suffers and rejoices with others, who is willing to deny himself for their sake. Anybody lacking in one of these qualities would surely be deficient in goodness. In short, a good person is someone who loves well, and as Hildebrand puts it, “love is, as it were, flowing goodness, and goodness is the breath of love.”
It is important to clarify that a good person does not only love certain people well, nor does he only love well when it’s easy. His heart is for all men at all times.
It is important to clarify that a good person does not only love certain people well, nor does he only love well when it’s easy. His heart is for all men at all times.
This only becomes possible if we see others as innately worthy of love. We ought to recognize that we have a duty to love others because it is the only adequate response to the unique and indescribable beauty of each individual. This habit of sight is so necessary because it is impossible to love something you don’t find valuable.
Returning to the qualities of the good man (generous, merciful, self-sacrificing) we can see that this loving response to the inexpressible value of the other is nothing short of a true gift of self. And again, not just in isolated circumstances; a good person lives in the mode of self-giving. This person’s stance and behavior towards others constantly says, “Yes, it is good that you exist the way you do. I want to work for your flourishing, and to be in right relationship with you.” A wise mentor once told me that perfect love cannot be improvised. It requires practice, failure, and a commitment to improve. Occasionally, our actions and attitudes instead say, “Sorry, you’re too much. I don’t really care what happens to you unless it affects me. You aren’t worth a thorough apology.” Most often these hurtful words show up in small ways.
A lack of goodness—a deficiency in the ability to give of oneself—usually stems from hardheartedness or indifference towards our neighbors. Both are rooted in egocentrism but differ in the degree to which they allow a person to be affected by the value of others. A hardhearted person is affected by the suffering of others, and by extension their value, but chooses to not respond. An indifferent person is not affected by the value of other people, and so a response to value is not even prompted. It is easy to see how both attitudes are isolating for the person who adopts them. Refusing to give of oneself closes off any connection to others.
A misconception about goodness is that it will cause someone to disassociate with anyone who exhibits ugly, corrupt, or malevolent behavior. However, it is only the good man that will engage with them most fully and directly because he is moved by their innate value to work for their happiness. We ought to likewise be involved with those who are far off. Sometimes our involvement with others will cause conflict, end friendships, or strain relationships. This is no cause for scandal, because goodness is unwilling to compromise another’s happiness. “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword” (Matt. 10:34-36). What would be scandalous is to reduce goodness to being nice. Saving face at all costs and allowing others to treat you poorly is inconsistent with an awareness of one’s own value and the other’s. It is in situation where one is unable to resist the malice of another that the good man chooses to humble himself and be treated poorly. In situations where he can resist, he ought to.
Paradoxically, being good can get you in trouble. It can hurt you and even hurt others, but only temporarily.
True goodness reaps a harvest of joy and peace
True goodness reaps a harvest of joy and peace not just for oneself, but for those we are involved with, too. Let us then ask the God who in his goodness calls us to perfect charity for the courage to imitate his uncompromising desire for our happiness.
Points for Reflection:
Think of someone you have difficulty loving right now. Consider his or her innate value, how he or she is endowed with God’s image, and how he or she was created as God chose.
Ask yourself: If I were God, would I choose to become man and die for his sake? Or would I be indifferent and hardhearted?
If you are in a situation of conflict, what is the difficult thing you can do right now—as much as you don’t want to do it—to respect yourself, God, and others the most?