The Journey of a Lifetime: Our Newest Postulant Introduces Himself
By CJ Neumann
This article was originally published in our November 2024 Kansas Monks newsletter. Read the whole newsletter at www.kansasmonks.org/newsletter/november2024
My pilgrimage to the Abbey began nine years ago at Texas A&M University. On a summer Sunday morning, I had a choice to make: will I attend Protestant services or the Mass? Raised in Dallas by a Baptist mother and Methodist father, I never considered this question. College, however, brought with it a freedom to choose. Though the religious traditions of my parents rested before me, a voice from within encouraged me to walk a path only recently set out before me. In the four years prior to this dilemma, I had attended Bishop Lynch Catholic High School, which introduced me to a faith that lived its dogmas in the liturgy and did so with joy. At this crossroad of faith, I stood ready to embark upon the journey of a lifetime. That Sunday, I chose to go to Mass.
As I ran across campus to my first Mass in College Station, Texas, I felt the sun shining brightly on my freshly shaved head; as a new member of the Corps of Cadets, student seniors had taken turns shaving the head of each “fish” or freshman. “Fish Neumann”, as I was called, had no interest in joining the military but enrolled in this student organization as a means of fraternity.
While rising through the cadet ranks and transitioning from studies in engineering to economics, I met a most loving and kind young woman. We dated for almost two years before our relationship collapsed near the end of my sophomore year. In the months spent sorting through the rubble, I came to the shocking realization that my life is not about me. In this first conversion experience I abandoned plans to become a lawyer and assumed plans to become a lieutenant. More importantly, I assessed my tepid faith life and began RCIA. In 2018, almost three years after my first step on my journey of a lifetime, I took another step forward to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation during the Easter Vigil.
By 2020, only one year after commissioning in the army, I sensed an incompleteness in my call to serve. Acknowledging that my life is not about me was a significant but half-baked revelation. I had yet to ask myself the next question: If my life is not about me, then who or what is it about? Still unsure of the answer, I nonetheless knew God called me to greater intimacy with the Church.
Nearing the end of my three-year stint in the army, I began applying for Catholic high school teaching positions in the state of Tennessee, where I was living, and my home state of Texas. During the job search I met a wonderful woman working out of Fort Riley, so I added Kansas to the list of prospects. I accepted a position in Topeka after some deliberation and continued discerning marriage. As the career transition came to end, so too did our relationship, to my dismay at the time. Yet, the calm spiritual desert of Topeka transfigured my gloom into an enduring peace. I underwent a second conversion experience calling me to abandon all my plans and look for God’s plan for me.
After a phone call with Brother Maximilian and a retreat led by Prior Leven, I finally had an answer to the question, “Who is my life about?”
Standing at the doorway of St. Benedict’s Abbey, I knew the next step on the journey of a lifetime.